My dollar is not for Ukwa! Daniella is ready for dinner and her best friend, my housekeeper came to request that I come to dish Ukwa by myself for Danny.
Me: the Ukwa is for sale biko, except Daniella is ready to pay for it.
Madam Angela: Mummy bikoooooo, let her enjoy the Ukwa, she loves it a lot.
Daniella: nooooo, I don’t want Ukwa, I want soup.
Me: ok Busky, let me dish for you and withdraw $20 from your US account ok?
Daniella: (shouted) noooooo, I don’t wanna eat that Ukwa, it’s expensive biko. How much is $20 in Nigerian money?
Me: I don’t do conversion when I am selling to foreigners, you told me you’re American and a New Yorker the other day, so what changed. $20 or nothing biko.
Daniella: nooooo, don’t touch my money. Soup and gari is free right?
Me: (silent and observing).
Daniella: Madam Angela, please I don’t want big girl’s Ukwa. Mummy said she cooked it for her friend, I know the Aunty in Lagos, she’s a big woman and has a big house. Biko, Daniella is a small girl and will not eat that Ukwa ok?
Me: Daniella: let’s go down to the kitchen. Gari and soup all the way.
Me: madam, biko dish Ukwa for this Igbo girl, she knows the value of money and doesn’t joke with her savings. Daniella, I love you ok?
Daniella: mom, I love you too but don’t touch my money oooo. I am saving for College. I am saving for College, Gozie Udemezue.
Me: (laughed out so loud). Thank you for making me laugh out so loud! Now let me return to work.