Welcome To My Blog
Awareness + Redefinement
Dear Widowed Community
Dear widowed community, I want to ask that you be that friend a widowed person would need to pass through the stormy early days of widowhood. It doesn't matter if anyone played that role for you in your time or not, please be that friend that's relied on at this time....
Danny’s Diary
Daniella: mom, are you fine? Are you happy? Me: I am not, my room is hot and my AC isn't able to be fixed. Daniella: mom!!! What are you gonna do? Me: I will have to pack in to your room till I replace my AC. Daniella: and when will you replace your AC? Me: as soon as...
Danny’s diary
Daniella : Mummy Where's God? Me: he's in heaven. Daniella : when am I gonna see him? Me: ?????????? Daniella: can I talk to him? Me: what do you want to tell him? Daniella : I just wanna tell him I miss him and I love him and I want him to come back from heaven so I...
Danny’s diary
Daniella was ill and I was too but she turned to a nurse and won't let me be: Daniella: mom, I will help you to get up and go to the bathroom OK? Mom: I didn't tell you I wanted to use the bathroom. You were fast asleep. Daniella: I was awake ooo. I stayed calm when I...
God’s ways, not our ways!
Genesis 23 to 25 I joined a Bible study group and we're currently studying the book of Genesis. Sometimes God gives you a promise, but everything in your life seems to negate that promise. God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations. Yet, him and...
Gozie nwa Sammie
I woke up today and decided to tell me that I am doing well. I still have 4kg to lose but I am not returning to the gym till February 1st. I am still saving for the gym fee😎😎😎😎😎. Even if I don't lose the 4kg, I am still Gọzie nwa Sammy, nwunye Emmy before death took...
Danny’s Diary 28
Daniella: whose dress is that pink one in the store? Me: it's yours. I brought it from US but will fix the edge. Daniella: I have many dresses oooo. I have many tops and many dresses in New York and the flood didn't spoil them. Me: yes you do and it's God that made...
Dear Widowed Community 3
Dear widowed community, “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s...
Danny’s Diary
I resisted giving my consent to have Daniella on that trip. No. 1, I was told that it was a visit to a farm. Farm? Oh no!!! Then my resistance increased when her teacher told me that a parent must accompany her. Well, I counseled my child and told her to forget the...
Own Your Story
OWN YOUR STORY If God blessed you with the anointing to be relevant, you don't have to play it down or explain it to anyone. And don't expect everyone to be in alignment with you. Be sure that some will find shovel and digger to go into your so-called past to bring to...
Danny’s Diary
From September 2019 diary. Daniella : nọ one takes my picture when I am walking. Me: when you're walking? How? Daniella : like the way you were walking, let me show you. (Grabs my iPad and shoes me my Dubai run way photos.) Me: ohhhhh!! You want that kind of stuff?...
Danny’s Diary
5.00 am Daniella: Mummy, I am awake!! Good morning mummy. Are you awake??? Me: (kept quiet and pretending to be asleep just so I round up my planning and goal setting for the day). Daniella: Mummyyyyyyyyy good morning. Answer me. Is Aunty Ify coming today???? Are we...
Danny’s Diary
Me: Daniella, wake up, it’s 6 am, we need to start getting ready. Daniella: Good morning Mummy, I ‘sleep well’. Me: Mango, it should be I slept well, it’s past tense. Daniella: Ok, “I slept well”. Me: Please thank me for teaching and correcting you. Daniella: thank...
Dear Widowed Community 2
I came today with a simple message titled God, 'God answers prayer.' I paused the series I started on Monday to share this with you as it was heavily on my mind all night and this morning. Please have this at the back of your mind that Jehovah answers prayer, and...
Danny’s Diary
Our diary from one year ago. The baby dolls are still in my space. I will name them on Sunday since I see that they have come to stay. Suddenly Daniella left my room after I got her dressed for school and I called out to her and went to her room from where she...
Short Musings
One of my favourite meals as a young girl in Ogidi of the 80s was nni oka na Ofe ogbono. This is not the typical cornmeal but Nni oka is made from freshly prepared akamu, you stir on medium heat till it's done and you pour it out in a spacious tray till it is ready to...
Dear Daughter
"Daughter, can you see how you boarded the plane and sat down, buckled your seat belt, and relaxed and now the plane is taking you to Lagos? You didn't meet the pilot, you don't even know who is or are in the cockpit and till now the main pilot hasn't spoken, and yet...
Dear Widowed Community 1
Dear widowed community, there are many myths and beliefs some of us grew up believing about widowhood. And we keyed in as soon as we lost our spouse forgetting that we are called by the name of God. Therefore shall not be bound by practices passed down from cultures...
Untold Stories
If your parent is widowed, don’t assume they are strong and not hurting, and you keep heaping burdens on them. They might put up a strong disposition so their children don’t lack or faint, but deep inside they hurt. They might skip meals so their children have enough!...
Mindset Shift 2
What do you say?
Mindset Shift: Part 1.
My dear widowed community, from my experience since May 2001,interviewing, counseling and intervening in widows’ issues; I discovered that a good number of widows say negative words over their situation. Yes, widowhood is a tough terrain but then your mindset could...
Well, don’t wait till you are aboard the plane to do a self-check! Just do it!
"We thank you for your attention and wish you a very pleasant journey with us.” When this is said at the closing of the safety instructions and departure announcements, a number of passengers become silent and some bow their heads, I believe, to pray. What takes place...
My Story
In 2006, I was an international visitor funded by the US state department and one of the places I visited was the Martin Luther King Centre, Atlanta. While listening to recorded speech of MLK (jnr.), I heard him say something! It hit me like a thunderbolt and I wrote...
Danny’s Diary
Danny’s diary! My dollar is not for Ukwa! Daniella is ready for dinner and her best friend, my housekeeper came to request that I come to dish Ukwa by myself for Danny. Me: the Ukwa is for sale biko, except Daniella is ready to pay for it. Madam Angela: Mummy...
Danny’s Diary
Daniella spoke to herself a lot this week and Joy and I kept records. 1. Daniella: I want to go back to New York. I want to go and live with Aunty Ifyooooo. She used to take care of me ooooo. She buys me pizza, big chicken, vegetables ooooo. In this house you give me...
Danny’s Diary
Daniella: Mummy good morning. Me: how are you? D: fine Me: let us pray, it’s your turn today D: In Jesus name, father I want to use my Mummy’s IPAD. Me: said nothing, I didn’t say Amen to the prayer. What a child!!! I banned her from using my IPad and now this prayer?...
Danny’s Diary
Daniella: Mom, I am happy you came along to church yesterday. Did you enjoy Dunamis church? Me: Oh sure I did and from now, I will be there every Sunday. I danced and rejoiced. I prayed too. What about you? Daniella: ohhhhh mommmmmm, I raised my hand when it was...
Danny’s Diary
Daniella! Daniella! Daniella! Upon return from the law firm with Adaobi, we stayed in my room and talked with Daniella as I ate late lunch. I started packing my hand luggage, and Adaobi and Daniella started their conversation. Adaobi: Daniella your mom is traveling...
A Short Discourse
I spend time daily cooking for clients, they pay for it and I often don't cook for myself these days, most times I eat out. When you are single after being 'paired' for long, home cooking and eating alone lose appeal. But today, I chose to cook for me and eat alone. I...
My Story
This photograph was taken in 2013. I still had the white mourning clothes on. This was probably before August, which was when I removed the mourning clothes after the service at RCCG, JESUS FRIENDS ASSEMBLY in Bayshore NY. This was in my hospital-provided room at...
Danny’s Diary
Daniella: Good morning mom. Are you happy today? Why are you awake? What’s the time? Me: good morning Busky, ahhhhh, all these questions, ok, I am happy today, I woke up to say my 3 am prayer and the time is 4 am. Are you happy? Daniella: I am happy but just wondering...
Gozie’s Musings
Before I left NY in September after being locked down and arriving in that city on February 28th from London for the UNCSW, I asked Coco to go AC shopping for my bedroom in Enugu. My next flight was for mid-March back to London and then Lagos and Enugu. I was...
Learn to honor people so honor comes to you.
Learn to honor people so honor comes to you. If you're notorious for dishonoring people and you still seek honor for yourself, how does that work? When you have negative explanations for everything good in another person's life, how does that make you feel? When you...
Gozie’s Musings!
Work today diverted from what I had earlier planned for today to something else. I did not prepare my mind to do what I am doing today, but I had to quickly put my mind and entire focus to and on it. The initial thing I was to do was to place some good cash in my...
Who Is Not In Your Camp?
For each battle God raises an army to fight with you. If you understand this, you will not draw in anyone He didn’t sign up to fight a particular battle with you. The person isn’t equipped! Don’t take offense because they didn’t fight with you!! How will you know...
Celebrating Life @ 50!
One of the best decisions of my life was to celebrate myself on my 50th. Mmili often told me he would surprise me and blow my mind on my 50th. Well, he did, didn’t he! I made the choice to celebrate myself and I am shocked at the number of persons who rose and are...
Memories!!
Memories!! January, 2007! Obu Ofo Nri Palace, Enugwu ukwu. In 2006, Mmili took a call and I overheard that conversation. When he was done he told me that it was His Royal Majesty, Igwe Osita Agwuna, the traditional ruler of his home town, Enugwu Ukwu in Anambra state...
Danny’s Diary
Danny's diary: Online schooling! Daniella: Mummy wake me up when my next class is ready. Me: it will be ready in 11 minutes. Don't sleep oooo. Daniella: I am awake. I am so tired. Me: tired from what? Daniella : my baby is sick at home and I took her to the doctor's...
Danny’s Diary
Yesterday I made a quick dash to my friend’s where Daniella went to spend some hours to pick her up. As she stepped out I noticed her tummy was big and I asked her; Me: Mamangida, your tummy bulu ibu. What did you eat in Aunty’s house? Daniella: Mummy have you called...
Live and let live!
In as much as you are also widowed, you don't have the right to define for another widow how to run her life or her children. That you're widowed for 20 or 30 years doesn't mean you're fit to shove it down the throat of a fresh widow how to live. Advise her if she...
Danny’s Diary
Daniella got off the bus and I received her and brought her in when she returned from school and she asked me a kweshion!!! Daniella: Mummy have you washed your hands? Mummy wash your hands please before you put on my shirt. Me: why? Daniella: the virus is everywhere...
My Story: Gozie Nwachinemelu Udemezue.
My vision. “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.” Isaiah 61:1 NLT Gozie...
Breaking News
BREAKING NEWS! Hello everyone. You remember I told you I have been working on my 3rd book? Well, I have breaking news for you. I am proud to unveil the cover design for my upcoming book. This book is different, a complete fictional tale that addresses touchy cultural...
Dany’s diary:
Me: Daniella biko help me to find my curly wig, panty hose and errrm mm! Daniella : what???? Find it by yourself?? Me: I should find them by myself? So you can't help your mother? Is it fair? Daniella : Mom, find it by yourself, you will be stronger when you do that....
Widows aren’t people that are waiting to die and join their husbands!!
Widows aren't people that are waiting to die and join their husbands!! They are not just there!!! They are not miserable, sad-faced, disgruntled, bitter, senseless and aggressive women!!! They are great, talented, graceful, gorgeous, hardworking, diligent,...
Beauty for my ashes!!
He restored my joy! Listen, weeping is short-lived and joy comes in the morning!!! Are you mourning? Your husband died? You’re devastated? You don’t know where to start from? Look at me? I have walked the path you’re walking now!! Listen, it can only get better!!...
Dany’s diary
Daniella: is the ukwa ready? Me: no Daniella: I want to help you. Me: it’s ok, stay back in the parlor and watch your cartoon, Ukwa is our dinner. Daniella: ohhh mummy I want Burger King. Me: Burger onyedu? Biko plain ukwa and mmili ukwa for dinner. Inukwa Burger...
Dany’s diary
Me: Daniella, sit by my side and I want us to talk OK? Daniella : I want to go and get my babies from school? Me: school? The bus will drop them off so forget them let's talk. Daniella : OK mummy Me: tell me what I do that you don't like. Daniella:this mummy, you're...
Dany’s diary: Throwback to December 2019.
Came down to Daniella’s room and met her in bed. Me: Daniella, when you were coming down I told you to wear a pair of socks once you get here. You didn’t? I don’t want to go to ER this Christmas, do you hear me? Daniella: (collects her socks from me and starts putting...
Danny’s diary December 14th, 2020.
I was in bed after a rough night battling catarrh and trying to sleep from the effect of a tablet I took when Daniella walked in. She took a close look at my face, I felt her breath. She believed I was asleep. I pretended to be so she won’t start her early morning...
Danny’s diary
Danny’s diary Mom: Daniella, I sleep alone in this room and it’s lonely when I wake up and done praying around 1am. I wish I had someone to call by that time and talk to. Daniella: you can call me, my room is next door. Me: ok, but you are normally asleep by that time...
Danny’s diary
Daniella: (upon return from school yesterday.) Mummy are you happy? Me: yesooooo. I met with your academic supervisory team and they gave excellent report about you. But I am not happy you were laying down on the floor at the gym while others were busy working out...
Dany’s diary of our days in Amrika!
Daniella: Hi Mom, I want to tell you something. Me: Busky, what do you want to tell me? Daniella: I want a monkey. I like monkeys. Get me one. Me: in this house or where will it live? Daniella: in my room. Me: Is it as pet or what Daniella: yes and to eat banana and...
One more push.
I almost abandoned my study to acquire a master of laws degree in human rights from University of London after my husband died. I was tired and had so much to deal with coupled with the letter from the school asking me to withdraw because I didn't write exams nor show...
What will people say??
When I started my soup making business from my home kitchen in January 2015, I was mocked and some said the business won't last. This morning we cooked 20 litres of rice, 10 litres onugbu soup, 10 litres ugba, 10 litres plantain mix, mini cooler moi moi and peppered...
ọgwụ obala.
This is a healthy meal. In place of boiled yam yiu can add boiled fresh corn and mix. Add a little salt to the corn while boiling and yes, remove from the cob. Fresh ogili is a key ingredient in this. Add it to vegetables, add ukpaka, add the small anara, fresh pepper...
The musings of a resilient widow!
Returning home after being away for about 12 months, I didn't expect not to have maintenance issues. I expected it! I came home prepared but not prepared for the idiosyncrasies of some of the workmen. The building had electrical, plumbing and other issues. Two...
Memories
Memories! 11 days after my 23rd birthday! I still have that pearl set! Pure exclusive real pearl! Ndi Enugwu ukwu came to my father’s house for introduction and to pay dowry and they were asked to only do the introduction and return for dowry another day. My family...
A young girl.
As a young girl while awaiting university admission, I spent months with my uncle and his family in Aba. My uncle was the Area manager of Savannah Bank in those days!! I remember vividly that this was in 1990-1991 and that house was at Ekenna Avenue, GRA Aba. I can...
A short discourse.
If God blessed you with the anointing to be relevant, you don't have to play it down or explain it to anyone. And don't expect everyone to be in alignment with you. Be sure that some will find shovel and digger to go into your so-called past to bring to surface that...
Danny’s diary
Daniella: God made me special Me: yes, who told you. Daniella: Pastor Caroline. She told me that when I was born, I was in the hospital and wasn’t talking and eating and sleeping. Me: Yes, you have an album and my book kept for you. When you grow you have them and...
A short discourse
I wonder what would make someone dim her light so as not to be offensive. Could it be that the person never ever wanted the light to shine ? I wonder why one would dim her light just because someone whose only exposure is to darkness isn’t comfortable with your light?...
Danny’s diary.
10 pm on 9/17/2019, just as we got home from prayer meeting, the following exchange took place: Me: Daniella do you really want us to have a bath? It's cold. Daniella : yes Mummy, we must bathe to be clean. Me: can we use the wash/bath cloth? We have enough to last...
Danny’s diary.
6.02 am Me: DanyBusky, it's time to get ready for school. Daniella: Mummyyyyyyyyy, I slept too much. Me: I did too but I woke up by 4 am to join Dunamis and it's still on. Let's be fast so I go back. Daniella: it's my turn to pray, let's pray Mummy. Me: OK though I...
Widowed not withered!
My dear widowed friend, there are relationships you must not be part of. Those people that cut you off might not be just because they wanted to cut you off but because God made them cut you off, that way you go on this journey with less baggage, become less dependent,...
Widowed not Withered!
"Your father is dead now, you are our father and the man now and you have to do what you have to do to take care of the family." Now, this Statement isn't followed up with defining 'do what you have to do.' It's an open-ended and ambiguous phrase. These children also...
Danny’s diary.
Danny’s diary Yesterday as I dressed her up for church. Daniella: Mummy , I like my dress. (Hugs me) I love you Mummy, you’re a good Mummy. Me: Thank you so much for liking it. When I am coming again to visit you, I will get more for you. Daniella: (points at a...
Danny’s diary
While waiting for the school bus to pull up the following conversation ensued. ME: Daniella, do you have anything to say to me? Daniella: Yes, I love you. I will miss you. Me: Awwwwww!! I love you too and will miss you. But I have alot of writing to do. Thank God we...
Dany’s diary, in memory of 9/11.
As I dressed her up this morning in red top and navy blue pants we had a chat. I explained to her the reason they were asked to wear either white, red or blue top to mark today. I explained to her what happened on September 11th, 2001. Me: your school is honoring the...
Widowed not withered
It is a long read that’s a year old but you can read to the end. Each time I go out to the mission field and return, I become more grateful to God. I meet widows who are unable to pay for proper medical treatment and rather buy from Patent medicine dealers even...
Danny’s diary!
Daniella told Aunt Ify and I that she’s searching for a job. We were both startled and asked simultaneously what she needed the job for. Daniella: I want to get a job and work and make money to give good things to the widows in Enugu. I want them to be happy. Some of...
A Lesson from Roben Island!
I spent most of the day in bed, exhausted and drained from the sadness I felt from videos and photos of the violence in South Africa Thant came up in my Facebook memory. Sadness enveloped me temporarily. I asked myself what Nelson Mandela would be thinking and feeling...
Danny’s diary!
Daniella: mom please I want to change my job. I want to be an animal doctor. Me: I will soon stop you from watching animal channel. Animal doctor with onye? Biko stick with being a nurse nu. Daniella: . You’re a lawyer mom? I don’t like that! Me: why? Inukwa?...
Stay focused!
From my place of hibernation, I bring you this!!! Ezra Chapters 4-6 were my study chapters this morning. If you have a spare moment, read those, then study the book of Nehemiah and then listen to Bishop Jakes's message of Saturday 26th August morning @ HOTR Lagos....
Danny’s Diary
For some days in the past week, I have experienced chest pain. It has been a pattern for some years and even made me go in for annual mammogram and X-ray while thinking it was my left breast that was being invaded. On 8/22/2020, I woke up to same kind of tearing pain,...
Launch into the deep!
Launch into the deep. The deep is fearful but launch in at his word and how do you know the word, withdraw and sit and study and listen. Yes you are washing your net after toiling all night and years. The word God speaks they are life and they are spirit. Which means...
When God calls, he equips and rewards.
On NHN IG on Saturday night, I shared how my journey into this assignment began and how it’s been. Has it been all smooth and rosy all the way? No! Have I had moments I wanted to quit? Yes! Not once or twice! In 2008, when it became obvious that I would not escape...
“Mom, I want to see animals.”
“Mom, I want to see animals.” Daniella: I want to go home to Enugu, mom when is the airport ready? Me: they will make an announcement and we leave. I also need to go home. Daniella: Mom, I need a vacation trip and I want to see animals too. Can we go and see animals?...
What do you see?
In the midst of your turmoil and storm, what do you see? What you see determines how you will react or respond. While Pharoah ordered the death of children of Israeli origin, Moses’ mom had him and looked at him and saw a goodly child. She saw something in that child!...
God takes care of his own!
There arose a king who did not know Joseph nor the history of the children of Israel. He became king and saw the children of Israel all over in the land, flourishing. He became afraid that they will outgrow them, take over the land and even join forces with the...
She keeps an eye on me
I left Daniella in the kitchen and came downstairs to write and review a report emailed to me by a mentee. Few minutes after she came halfway down and peeped. When I noticed she was peeping, I waved at her and she threw her first question at me. Daniella: mommy, how’s...
I made a Choice
This is one of my favorite photos. It was out of a photo shoot session to model for my dear friend and sister, NHN. This photo was taken when my mood was experiencing wild swings. One second I was ok and next minute I was back in gloom. But then during the shoot, I...
Surrender All!
These pictures were snapped 3 years ago at St. Mathias Anglican Church Enugu. This assignment was one of my toughest but in the midst of it, God gave me peace. I was invited to minister at their Parish Women Conference. Not just the conference but specifically to...
Use those stones!!
They tell you you are ugly, fat, skinny, poor, uneducated, not well educated, local, Igbotic, unexposed, undignified, below their standards, don't fit into their social circle, and you allow the words to become your limitations???? They talk down on you!!! Some even...
Daniella the matchmaker!
Daniella: mom, I wanna be a baby-sitter. Me: that’s not a bad idea, so tell me more about it please. What does a baby-sitter do? Daniella: I bathe the baby to go to sleep, I read a story for the baby, clean the mats, change the baby diapers, play with the baby and...
Danny’s diary
Danny’s Diary. Daniella: mom you’re a blessing to me, I love you. God bless you. Me: thank you so much. I love you too. Me: (in my naughty mood) who else do you love? Daniella: I love sister Shishoooo, Coco, Aunty, Aunty Joy, my brother my brother, Aunty Udobi, I love...
Marriage Musing
Marriage Musing Years ago, Mmili would order me to stay back in bed especially in the early hours of the mornings. I am an early riser and will get up and start moving up and down and at times cooking. He loved his early morning sleep a lot. I become restless once I...
Find your path!
Find your path! Embark on the journey! Stay focused on the path to avoid pot holes and sudden falls! Per chance you fall, don’t stay there!! Get back up and keep moving!! Nothing wrong in slowing down or pausing to nurse any wounds but don’t stay in permanent...
A Short Discourse
One impediment to your happiness and blessings in this phase of your life is bitterness and unforgiveness. One pattern I noted in my many years of counseling widows, years before I became widowed was the worrisome pattern of widows holding bitterness and anger against...
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