In as much as you are also widowed, you don’t have the right to define for another widow how to run her life or her children.
That you’re widowed for 20 or 30 years doesn’t mean you’re fit to shove it down the throat of a fresh widow how to live.
Advise her if she asks for it but don’t force her to align with your decisions and when she says no, you conspire with others in your coven to drag her down.
Your reality as a widow isn’t necessarily that of another widow. What you call extravagance might be normal to the next person.
Don’t use your standard to judge another widow. That you can’t afford some things shouldn’t make you label those widows who can. Live and do you and allow them do same.
There’s no rule and no pattern cast in iron on how to do this Widowhood thing. No fast and hard rule. Your decision to engage in a macabre dance just so you drag that widow isn’t really fair on you.
Have a rethink and self-correct. When we cry out so non widows stop labeling us and we have widows label and harass other widows, it is an error that must be corrected.
Don’t expect others to be in your clique, some widows are lone rangers and don’t perform so well in groupings and that doesn’t mean they don’t like you. You form a club and want them to join and they turn the invitation down and you get mad?
Really? Must they? Isn’t there freedom of association? Finally, help fresh widows to find their feet and don’t be upset when they fly higher than you’re doing. In any way you can support them to stabilize and grow, please do so.
Don’t undermine them and don’t always expect them to pay homage to you as onye nze na Widowhood. Ifea aburokwanu competition!!! In the past one week I counseled four fresh widows and the above were what they are facing in the hands of those who have chie Eze in this draining journey called Widowhood!!!
The narrative really needs to change!!!